community service essay uc

UC Personal Insight Question 7: Community Service Essay Examples and Writing Guide

‍ Prompt: What have you done to make your school or your community a better place?

1 Tip that Matters💡🔆

When writing about community service, focus on describing your role and impact, even if your part was small. This is more impactful than just listing the larger activities. "For example, instead of 'I volunteered at a soup kitchen for two years', you could say:'As a soup kitchen volunteer, my main duty was preparing and packaging 50-75 meals per shift. I took pride in carefully assembling nutritious, high-quality meals with attention to detail, ensuring recipients received nourishing food.'"

First, let's dive into how to structure this essay effectively:

Structure of the Essay

Introduction: What Problem Are You Solving?

• Hook: Start with an engaging statement or anecdote about your involvement in your school or community that highlights the issue you're addressing.
• Problem: Clearly define the specific problem you are tackling for your school or community.

Body - Part 1: Specifics About the Action Taken

• Describe in detail the actions you have taken or initiatives you have launched to address the problem.
• Provide specific examples or evidence of your efforts and the steps involved in implementing your solution.

Body - Part 2: Challenges Faced

• Discuss the challenges or obstacles you encountered while implementing your solution.
• Explain how you overcame these challenges and any lessons learned from the experience.

Conclusion: Impact and Reflection

• Summarise the impact of your efforts on the school or community.
• Reflect on what you have learned from this experience and how it has shaped your perspective or future goals

Community Service PIQ Example 1

Seeing the waste problem at my school, I felt compelled to take action. Our school had recycling bins, but they were often ignored or used improperly. Determined to make a change, I launched an initiative called "Green Warriors" to promote recycling and sustainability. I started by gathering a group of friends. Together, we devised a plan to educate our peers on the importance of recycling. We created posters and placed them around the school. These posters explained what items could be recycled and the benefits of doing so. We also held weekly announcements to remind everyone to use the recycling bins correctly. To make recycling easier, we worked with the school administration. We placed labeled recycling bins in busy areas like the cafeteria and hallways. We also organised monthly "Recycling Drives." During these drives, students could bring in recyclable items from home. The turning point came when we organized a school-wide assembly featuring a local environmental activist. Her speech about the impact of waste on our planet inspired many students to join our cause. After the assembly, we gave out reusable water bottles and tote bags to promote reducing single-use plastics. Our efforts paid off. Within a few months, the amount of recyclables collected increased. More students began to participate in our Recycling Drives. We even partnered with a local recycling center to ensure proper disposal of the collected materials. The success of "Green Warriors" extended beyond improving recycling habits. It sparked environmental awareness at our school. Students began to form new habits, like using reusable containers and reducing paper waste. Our initiative also led to the creation of an environmental club. This club promotes sustainability and organises clean-up events in our community. Through "Green Warriors," I learned the power of grassroots efforts. A group of determined individuals can make an impact. By promoting sustainability, we made our school greener and more aware of the environment.

🎓 GradGPT Score: 91/100 🌟

Community Service PIQ Example 2

In my community, I noticed families struggling to get enough nutritious food. This problem motivated me to take action. I started "Food for All," an initiative to help improve access to healthy food. Our goal was to support those facing food insecurity in our neighborhood. We teamed up with local stores and farmers markets to set up weekly food distributions. These distributions gave fresh produce and pantry staples to families in need. We also held cooking workshops to teach easy, budget-friendly meal prep skills. These workshops helped families make the most of the food they received. The journey had challenges at every step. We faced several issues with organizing deliveries and getting funds. Engaging the community and ensuring ongoing support was tough, too. But we worked hard to overcome these hurdles. Over time, Food for All improved its logistics. We limited deliveries to Thursdays to ensure greater efficiency. Our TikTok page reached over 3 million views and attracted 11 new donors. These experiences make me confident that we'll only get better with time.  Through "Food for All," we observed significant results firsthand. Families felt healthier and saved money on groceries. Beyond providing food, our initiative fostered a strong sense of community. Families and volunteers formed close bonds. Local businesses felt more committed to supporting people in need. This experience deepened my understanding of systemic food insecurity issues. It strengthened my commitment to promoting fairness and sustainability in our community.

🎓 GradGPT Score: 89/100 🌟

In conclusion, follow the outline of introducing the problem you're solving, detailing the actions taken and challenges faced, and summarizing the impact and reflections to create the first draft. Next, work upon the draft to build the essay. Finally, check whether you score more than 80 and pass all 5 checks on the essay coach .

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Last updated July 17, 2024

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Blog > Essay Examples , UC Essays > 9 Outstanding UC Essay Examples (Graded by Former Admissions Officers)

9 Outstanding UC Essay Examples (Graded by Former Admissions Officers)

Admissions officer reviewed by Ben Bousquet, M.Ed Former Vanderbilt University

Written by Kylie Kistner, MA Former Willamette University Admissions

Key Takeaway

We talk a lot about essays in the college application process. And for good reason. Essays are one of the most critical parts of your application, and the University of California Personal Insight Questions are no different. Even though they’re quite different from personal statements or supplemental essays , UC essays serve a similar purpose: to help admissions officers get to know you and envision you on their campus.

But the tricky thing about UC essays is that they have a very particular style and form. If you don’t write your UC essays in the right way, you risk tanking your application.

Writing them the right way, however, can land you in the admit pile.

Let's start by looking at an example essay. Then we'll dive into the prompts themselves, go over some strategy, and and look at even more examples. Ready?

UC Example Essay - Prompt #7

We’ve got an extra example for Prompt #7: . This one comes from the Essay Academy , our digital college essay course. It’s about a student’s initiative to bring literacy to their community. Take a look:

This writer makes it very clear what community they’re talking about. They state the problem (libraries closing down), their solution (filling the library gap through book club), and the action steps they took to make their community a better place.

Along the way, we clearly see their strengths: they are willing to take initiative and to think critically about what the community needs. The essay also answers the entire prompt and meets the style and tone requirements of UC essays. It’s clear, action-oriented, and to-the-point. Excellent!

Now, let's actually take a look at the prompts.

The UC Personal Insight Question Prompts

The University of California system, which consists of nine campuses across the state, requires students to apply directly via their institutional application portal. That means that you won’t be submitting your Common Application to them or writing school-specific supplemental essays. Instead, you’ll choose four of the following eight prompts to respond to.

Describe an example of your leadership experience in which you have positively influenced others, helped resolve disputes or contributed to group efforts over time.

Every person has a creative side, and it can be expressed in many ways: problem solving, original and innovative thinking, and artistically, to name a few. Describe how you express your creative side.

What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time?

Describe how you have taken advantage of a significant educational opportunity or worked to overcome an educational barrier you have faced.

Describe the most significant challenge you have faced and the steps you have taken to overcome this challenge. How has this challenge affected your academic achievement?

Think about an academic subject that inspires you. Describe how you have furthered this interest inside and/or outside of the classroom.

What have you done to make your school or your community a better place?

Beyond what has already been shared in your application, what do you believe makes you a strong candidate for admissions to the University of California?

Once you have your prompts chosen, the essays themselves should be no greater than 350 words each.

Together, your essays should be different but cohesive enough to tell a fairly complete story of who you are.

Before we get to the examples, we have a few tips to keep you on track.

How to Write the UC Personal Insight Questions

Okay, so we actually have a whole other comprehensive guide to the UC essays that breaks down the process in extreme detail.

So for now, we’ll just go over the essentials.

What’s helpful about the UC PIQs is that we don’t have to guess what admissions officers are looking for—the UCs tell us directly in the Points of Comprehensive Review . Read through all thirteen points, but pay special attention to #10. That’s where your essays will be doing the heaviest lifting.

With that in mind, there are four rules for writing UC essays that you should stick to like glue:

Answer the prompt.

We’ll say it again for the people in the back: answer the prompt! The UC essay prompts ask very specific questions and contain multiple parts. If you misinterpret the prompt, you may end up writing the completely wrong essay.

You might find that diagramming or annotating the prompts helps you pull out the important pieces. Break down what each of your chosen prompts asks you to do, and list out all the questions in order. That way, you’ll make sure you’re not missing anything.

Skip the fluff.

Your personal statement likely has some creative descriptions or metaphors. You may have even incorporated figurative or poetic language into your supplementals. And that’s great. In fact, that’s encouraged (within reason, of course).

But UC essays are different. They’re all business.

Whereas your personal statement might open with an attention-catching hook that describes a scene in vivid detail, your UC essays should jump straight in. In general, your essay should be organized in a clear way that tells a straightforward story.

Focus on action steps.

As we saw in the Points of Comprehensive Review, admissions officers want to learn about how your concrete experiences have shaped you. That means that your essays should revolve around action steps rather than, say, 350 words of intense personal reflection. What those action steps should look like will depend on the prompts you’ve chosen. But by the end of your essay, your admissions officers should know what you’ve done and why.

Show a strength.

In the UC essays, it’s easy to get caught up in the details of the prompt and style of the essay. But don’t lose sight of the purpose of any college essay in the process: to showcase a strength to your admissions officers.

Every UC essay you write should correspond with a specific strength. That might be wisdom, artistry, good judgement, entrepreneurship, leadership—you get the idea.

Let’s say you want one of your essays to demonstrate leadership. The idea isn’t that you come out and say, “This shows that I am a leader.” Instead, by the end of the essay, after reading about everything you’ve done and reflected on, your admissions officers should sit back in their chair and say, “Wow, that student is a leader.” You’ll see what we mean in the examples.

Because of all these golden rules, your UC essays will look quite different than your Common Application essay or supplementals. They’ll probably look quite different from any essay you’ve written.

That’s where examples come in handy. Ready to dive in?

UC Prompt 1: Leadership

1. Describe an example of your leadership experience in which you have positively influenced others, helped resolve disputes or contributed to group efforts over time.

Prompt 1 Example Essay

When we moved to a new neighborhood, my dad always complained about the house next to us. Full of weeds and random objects, it had clearly been neglected(( Notice how, at least compared with common application personal essays, the tone of this essay is much more staid?)) .

I didn’t pay much attention to his complaints until one day when I saw that our neighbor was an elderly man. He was struggling to bring his trash to the bins outside. Suddenly, it all clicked. If taking out the garbage was a challenge, then surely he wasn’t able to do yard work. That’s why it looked neglected.

My dad always taught me that leadership isn’t about giving orders. It’s about doing what needs to be done(( A direct, succinct definition of leadership.)) . With this advice in mind, I decided that I would help our neighbor.

After my realization, I went and knocked on our neighbor’s door. I introduced myself and learned that his name was Hank. When the time was right, I informed him that I’d be cutting our grass the following weekend and would love to cut his as well. Hank initially refused.

Speaking with Hank, I learned that leadership is also about listening to people’s needs(( Showing a lesson from the experience.)) . In that moment, Hank needed to be reassured that I wanted to help. I told him it would be easy for me to cross over to his yard while I had the equipment out. He finally agreed.

The next Saturday, I got to work. The job would be bigger than I expected. All the objects needed to be picked up before I could mow. I decided to enlist the help of my two younger siblings. At first, they said no. But a good leader knows how to inspire, so I told them about Hank and explained why it was important to help. Together, we cleaned up the yard. Now, each time I mow our lawn, I mow Hank’s afterward.

Through this experience, I learned that leadership is about seeing problems and finding solutions. Most importantly, it’s about attitude and kindness(( The author of this essay does a good job staying focused on a clear definition.)) . The neighborhood is grateful that the eyesore is gone, Hank is grateful for the help, and I am grateful for my new friend.

Word Count: 343

UC Essay Checklist

Does the writer convey a strength?

Yes. The writer shows initiative in seeking out the neighbor and willingness to help in all the hard work they did.

Is every part of the prompt answered?

Yes. Since this prompt has an “or,” we know that the writer doesn’t have to meet every single criterion listed. They respond to the “positively influenced others” part of the prompt, which we can see through their interactions with their neighbor.

Does the writer adhere to UC conventions?

Yes. The essay is straightforward and clearly organized. The writer lists action steps in chronological order.

UC Prompt 2: Creativity

2. Every person has a creative side, and it can be expressed in many ways: problem solving, original and innovative thinking, and artistically, to name a few. Describe how you express your creative side.

Prompt 2 Example Essay

As a cellist, I express my creativity through music(( Directly answering the prompt up front. )) . Whether I’m playing in a symphony, chamber orchestra, quartet, or solo performance, I bring my art to the world with my instrument. My creativity has transformed me from a small child playing out of tune to a solo artist featured in my state’s youth symphony.

I’ve loved music from a young age, and I began playing the cello when I was six years old. What began as a hobby to keep an energetic child engaged has become my life’s purpose.

At first, I only played along with my private lesson teacher, Ms. Smith. I loved dancing my fingers across the fingerboard, plucking the strings, and making screeching noises with my bow. Ms. Smith told my parents that I had promise but needed to develop discipline. Despite my young age, I listened. By the time I reached middle school, I had made principal cellist in my school’s orchestra. Leading a section of fellow cellists brought my creativity to a whole new level. Not only was I expressing myself through my own music, but I also expressed myself through my leadership. With a subtle nod or an expressive sway, I learned to shape the music those behind me played. I felt most comfortable and free when I was playing my cello.

That feeling only grew as I moved into high school. In ninth grade, I landed my first solo. With it came a new creative sensation: stage fright(( This part of the essay distracts a bit from the main theme.)) . Until then, I’d only experienced positive emotions while playing. I needed to make solo performance more positive. With endless practice and exercises like playing for the public on the sidewalk, I learned that solo performance is simply a way to share my love of music with those around me.

Now, as principal cellist of my state’s youth orchestra, I jump at the chance to perform any solo I can get. Getting to this point has taken me countless late nights practicing in my bedroom and weekends spent in rehearsals. But without my cello to express my creative side, I wouldn’t be me.

Word Count: 347

Yes. The writer is an artist—a musician specifically. Their creativity shines through.

Yes. This prompt is pretty straightforward: “Describe how you express your creative side,” which the writer does by describing their love of the cello. Notice how the writer doesn’t just say they’re creative because they play the cello. They describe that creativity in detail.

Mostly. The short paragraph about stage fright takes us on a slight detour from the prompt. To make this essay even better, the writer could have eliminated that anecdote or reframed it to be more about creative expression.

UC Prompt 3: Talent or Skill

3. What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time?

Prompt 3 Example Essay

How many toes does an armadillo have? What were the main causes of the Crimean War? Who discovered atoms? When my friends or family have questions, they come to me for answers. I am an expert researcher. Although my passion for research began as a fun hobby, it has evolved into one of my greatest skills(( The writer opens with an interesting but not too out-there hook and then gets straight to answering the prompt.)) .

My first real mystery came when I was in ninth grade. My mom wanted to track down an old friend from high school but hadn’t had any luck searching on her own. Having grown up with the internet, I was my mom’s best chance. Not sure where to begin, I took to YouTube tutorials. Using the few family details my mom remembered, I tracked down the friend’s brother then found the friend’s married name(( Here’s a great example of what the skill looks like.)) . Alas–we found her on social media. I felt triumphant as I saw the happiness wash over my mom’s face.

Since then, my skill has grown exponentially(( And here the writer gets at the “developed and demonstrated the talent over time” part of the prompt.)) . Combining my natural curiosity with my love of history, I’ve advanced my research skills by volunteering with my local library for the past two years. I have learned about how keywords and search engines work, practiced cataloging and archiving, and waded my way through the intricacies of the library’s database technology. Suddenly, researching wasn’t just about finding people’s Facebook profiles. It was about having any information I wanted to find at my fingertips.

Access to information is more important now than ever. That’s why I decided to put my research knowledge to work. Part of being a good researcher is teaching others how to access information too, so I founded the SOHS Research Club. We begin each meeting by raising the hardest question we can think of, and I use the projector in the library to walk club members through my research process. Members have all gone on to share their knowledge with their friends and family. The SOHS Research Club has spread information literacy to my whole community(( Gesturing to the greater significance of the skill)) .

Looking ahead to all the ways my research skills will improve in college, I know that I’ll be ready to find an answer for anything.

Word Count: 350

Yes. We see that they’re not only skilled at research but also that they want to support their community.

Yes—but. The prompt asks about your greatest talent or skill . It also asks how you have developed and demonstrated that talent over time. The writer does answer these questions, but I’d like to see more about when the SOHS Research Club took place as part of this development.

Yes. The essay is clear, organized, and to-the-point.

UC Prompt 4: Educational Opportunity or Barrier

4. Describe how you have taken advantage of a significant educational opportunity or worked to overcome an educational barrier you have faced.

Prompt 4 Example Essay

I jump at any chance to get my hands dirty. I am an aspiring ecologist. I’m lucky enough to live in a college town, so I was elated last semester when a postdoctoral fellow invited me to join her research team(( Okay, looks like this writer is addressing the “how you have taken advantage of a significant educational opportunity” part of the prompt.)) .

Although at first(( Good signposting and transitions. UC essays should be clear and straightforward. This writer easily walks us through the step-by-step of what happened.)) I was intimidated by the prospect of working alongside college students and faculty, I decided to embrace the opportunity to learn what being an ecologist is really like.

The project involved studying Asclepias syriaca populations in my local park. More commonly known as Milkweed, this flower species has a long and important history in North America, particularly for Indigenous people. After learning about its history as a food source, medicine, and critical part of ecological function, I couldn’t wait to be part of the research.

As a research assistant, I helped with data collection. We began by using twine to section off population groups in the park. Then, every week I returned to the populations to collect information about population growth. I counted the number of flowers in the population, and, with a clear ruler, I measured and recorded the height of every individual flower.

The work was tedious. On my hands and knees, I squinted at the millimeter markings, trying to obtain the most accurate measurements possible. Each week, I’d return home with muddy jeans and a smile on my face.

Participating in this research project taught me that being an ecologist is about much more than looking at plants(( Going beyond the research to reflect on lessons learned—nice!)) . It’s also about learning from mentors and engaging with and having respect for the historical context of the plants we study. Being a scientist is also not as glamorous as movies like Jurassic Park lead on. Instead, science requires careful planning, patience, and hard work.

But what I learned the most from this educational opportunity is that science doesn’t exist in some nebulous place. It exists right here in front of me. I look forward to continuing to use science to serve my community.

Word count: 328

Yes. We see their intellectual curiosity and willingness to learn through their research journey.

Yes. We have another “or” prompt! This time they’ve chosen to focus on an “educational opportunity,” which is the research project. They certainly explain how they “took advantage” of it.

Yes. There’s no fluff, just a coherent narrative focused on actions the writer took.

UC Prompt 5: Challenge

5. Describe the most significant challenge you have faced and the steps you have taken to overcome this challenge. How has this challenge affected your academic achievement?

Prompt 5 Example Essay

While most kids fear monsters, my greatest fear has always been tests. Since elementary school, I’ve dealt with incapacitating test anxiety. I’d sit down for a spelling test and faint from anxiety(( Straight into answering the prompt)) . Math tests in middle school would make me run to the bathroom ill. By the time I reached high school, where the testing stakes became even higher, my test anxiety increased exponentially.

More than normal feelings of nervousness or anxiousness, it is a diagnosis I wrestle with daily. Test anxiety caused me to miss a number of tests that I had no option to re-take. It’s caused me to receive abysmal scores on standardized and state tests, which has had repercussions in the classes I’m allowed to take(( Strategically, this was a good prompt for this student to answer because it gives them a way to contextualize any poor grades they earned early in high school. It also gets at the “academic achievement” part of the prompt.)) . My test anxiety has been the greatest challenge of my life. In a school system so reliant on testing, it has completely affected my ability to achieve academically.

By the time I took the PSATs, I couldn’t even move my hand to write my name. I knew something had to change. I reached out for help. My mom knew I had been struggling but didn’t understand the extent of my illness. Together, we contacted my school counselor, who told us how to find a therapist.

With my doctors, I worked to mitigate the effects of my test anxiety on a medical and psychological level(( Action steps! This prompt requires you to talk about the specific steps you took to overcome the challenge. The writer does exactly that in this paragraph.)) . I began taking beta-blockers that helped slow my heart rate, thus tricking my body into being less anxious. Alongside that, I spent months working through the reasons my brain interpreted testing as such a threat. I learned to appreciate my intrinsic value instead of relying on external factors like test scores. And rather than viewing tests as chances to fail, I began to understand them as opportunities to showcase my growth.

Now, after two long years of effort, I can take any test with ease. Since learning how to manage my disorder, I’ve successfully taken my driver’s test, SATs and ACTs, and all seven of my AP exams. I’m looking forward to all the tests I’ll take in college(( And we end on a very positive note that shows lots of growth)) .

Yes—which is difficult with this prompt. The writer doesn’t get bogged down in the challenge of having test anxiety. Instead, they use this prompt as an opportunity to show a strength: resilience to overcome such a difficult problem.

Yes. And this prompt has multiple parts, too. It wants you to describe 1) a challenge, 2) the steps you’ve taken to overcome the challenge, and 3) how the challenge affected your academic achievement. This writer does all three.

Yes. The writer doesn’t provide any poetic descriptions or metaphors. They say what they mean.

UC Prompt 6: Academic Interest

6.  Think about an academic subject that inspires you. Describe how you have furthered this interest inside and/or outside of the classroom.

Prompt 6 Example Essay

Sitting in front of my baby cousin, I held my hands in front of my face. I quickly snapped them down and exclaimed, “Peek-a-boo!” Delighted, he erupted into laughter. From the perspective of my more developed brain, this game is quite boring. It’s overly repetitive, and the outcome—my face reveal—is basic and consistent. But to a brain that hasn’t yet gone through the sensorimotor phase of development, the game is a downright hoot. What I perceive as boring is actually magic to a baby’s mind. Without the concept of object permanence, my cousin thinks that I disappear completely behind my hands. When my face returns, he marvels as I inexplicably materialize in front of him. It’s no wonder he can play peek-a-boo for hours.

Since I took IB Psychology my sophomore year, I have been fascinated with child psychology(( It takes a paragraph before we get to the prompt (which is too long), but I like the nerdiness the writer shows in the intro)) . No matter when or where we are born, we all undergo similar stages of development that help us understand the world around us. Imagine Albert Einstein chewing on a rock or Genghis Khan taking his first steps. Researching child development unlocks something universal and equalizing about the human experience.

Because of my interest in child psychology, I decided to get more involved with my community. I began by volunteering in a psychology lab at my local university. While there, I get our child participants settled before sessions. Occasionally I get to help with data collection. I also landed a job as a teacher’s aide at a nearby Head Start, where I feed lunches, play, and read. In both of these activities, I’ve learned so much about how to interact with toddlers, to think like they think, and to help them grow into kind and happy children(( This paragraph shows exactly how they’ve furthered their interest.)) .

My school doesn’t offer any additional psychology courses, so I took a community college class this summer. I’m looking forward to taking more advanced psychology classes as a psychology major, and I’m eager to bring the research skills I’ve been developing to one of the UC’s many child development labs. One day, I hope to use all these skills as a child therapist.

Word Count: 348

Yes. The student is very intellectually curious about child development—a perfect strength for this prompt.

Yes. The writer talks about an academic subject, child development, and describes how they advanced that interest through a research lab, classes, and a job at Head Start.

Yes—but. Overall, the essay does a great job adhering to UC essay conventions. But the first paragraph almost doesn’t. As it is, the writer stays focused on telling the story. However, it takes up quite a bit of space in the essay without really conveying much about the writer’s journey. If there were a metaphor or any poetic language in there, it would have been too far. Same goes for the snippet about Einstein and Genghis Khan—it adds personality but is close to overdoing it.

UC Prompt 7: School or Community

7. What have you done to make your school or your community a better place?

Prompt 7 Example Essay

Nourishing loved ones by cooking for them is one of my biggest passions. But my hobby has become more difficult since moving to a food desert. Food deserts are areas without easy access to grocery stores or healthy foods. These disparities are clear in the school cafeteria, with the majority of students eating processed school lunches or packaged foods brought from home. I decided to do something about it.

The idea came to me one day as I made my way from AP Biology to my cooking elective. We needed a school community garden(( The writer sets up the stakes in the introduction so we truly understand the situation here)) . If we couldn’t access fresh foods in our neighborhood, then we would grow our own. We just needed a space to grow them and money to buy supplies.

I began by finding a spot to plant our garden. My friends and I walked around the entire school and decided that the courtyard would be the perfect place. After explaining my idea to the Assistant Principal, I got permission to proceed.

Next(( This paragraph is full of good action steps)) I raised money for the supplies. With $20 in seed money from my parents, which I promptly paid back, I drew and printed stickers to sell at lunch. The stickers were anthropomorphized vegetables. They cost $0.10 per sticker to make, and I sold them for $1.00 each. Soon enough, I had not only raised enough money to set up the garden, but I had rallied the whole school around my cause. Thirty of my classmates showed up, vegetable stickers on their water bottles, to help me plant the garden.

For the last year, we’ve maintained a spread of seasonal vegetables in the garden. We bring a basket to the cooking elective teacher each week so students can practice cooking with fresh vegetables, and we hold a daily farm stand at lunch(( And we see that they are legitimately improving their community)) . At the stand, students can grab whatever fresh produce they want to add to their lunch.

My school’s garden nourishes my community, and I am nourished every day by the fact that my efforts have made a true difference to those around me.

Word Count: 341

Yes. The writer shows really great initiative and community understanding in their willingness to start a community garden from scratch.

Yes. With only one question, this prompt is pretty straightforward. And the writer’s answer is simple: to make their school community a better place, they made a community garden.

Yes. The writer goes into detail about every step they took to make the community garden come to life. I especially like how the writer goes beyond these details to emphasize how much the community garden impacted the school community.

UC Prompt 8: Additional Information

8. Beyond what has already been shared in your application, what do you believe makes you a strong candidate for admissions to the University of California?

Prompt 8 Example Essay

When I posted a TikTok video of myself studying, I didn’t expect anyone but my friends to see it. But within hours, my video had gone viral— tens of thousands of people(( That’s a lot of people. This shows the magnitude and impact of the video.)) saw the carefully-crafted shots I’d taken of my desk setup and homework timelapse. The comment section flooded. People appreciated the work I’d put into curating the perfect desk. They thanked me for inspiring them to get started on their own homework. I was overwhelmed by the response.

At first I felt really shy. What if people from school saw it and made fun of me? I kept questioning myself so much that I completely froze. Finally, one comment caught my attention. It read, “I’ve been having a hard semester and can barely get myself out of bed, let alone to do my homework. But this is so calming! Maybe I’ll try.” That comment made me realize that it didn’t matter what people at my school thought. What mattered was that I loved making that video and it had made an actual difference in the lives of the people who saw it.

And that’s when I decided to make my mark on #StudyTok(( This is a pretty unique topic that wouldn’t have necessarily fit into the other prompt categories, which makes it a good candidate for prompt #8.)) . Since that first video, I’ve posted 318 others and accumulated over 35,000 followers(( More numbers to show impact)) . I’ve had more videos go viral and reach hundreds of thousands of people looking for work inspiration. Even the videos that some would see as “fails” still reach a couple hundred people. That may not be a big deal in the Internet world, but those same people would fill up my high school’s auditorium. My goal for every video is to make my viewers feel relaxed and able to take on whatever work they have to do. It helps me and my viewers complete our work.

These videos have made me more confident and organized, and I can’t wait to continue them in college. When I get an extra assignment or have to stay up late to finish a paper, I become excited instead of frustrated because I know that the little StudyTok community I’ve created will be there right alongside me.(( This conclusion drives home the what “makes you a strong candidate for admissions to the UC” part of the prompt.))

Yes. They show creativity through their video production and leadership through their huge community impact.

Mostly. This prompt is a tricky one to answer because its components aren’t as straightforward as the others. Through such a huge impact, the writer makes it implicitly clear why this story demonstrates that they are a good candidate for admissions to the UC, but the message could be more explicit.

Yes. The writer conveys the sequence of events in a clear and organized way, and they use good metrics to show the impact of their videos.

Key Takeaways

Did you catch our golden rules throughout? Yep. That’s what makes these essays stand out, and that’s what’ll make your essays stand out, too.

And even though these essays come from different students, hopefully you also got a sense of how an admissions officer reads a portfolio of essays for a single student.

Remember: just like your other applications, your overall goal for your UC application is to create a cohesive application narrative that shows your core strengths.

Having read all these essays, you’re now well on your way to writing your own. Try jumping into the Essay Academy or our UC essay writing guide  for help getting started.

Liked that? Try this next.

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Guide to Personal Insight Question #7: Community Service

Welcome to Thinque Prep's series on the UC Personal Insight Question responses. You can access other posts in the series at the following links...

10 Top Tips for Your Best UC Personal Insight Question Responses

Guide to UC PIQ #1: Leadership Experience

Guide to UC PIQ #2: Creativity

Guide to UC PIQ #3: Greatest Talent

Guide to UC PIQ #4: Greatest Educational Opportunity/Barrier

Guide to UC PIQ #5: Greatest Challenge

Guide to UC PIQ #6: Favorite Academic Subject

Guide to UC PIQ #8: Free Response

This post will focus on the seventh Personal Insight Question option, which is concerned with community service.

Question Breakdown

Here's the text of PIQ #7 , straight from UC's website :

What have you done to make your school or your community a better place?

Hopefully, this isn't news to you, but UC really values community involvement. If you choose not to respond to this prompt, make sure you explain how you've made a positive impact on your school/greater community in at least one other response.

UC encourages you to "define community as you see fit." This means that the "community" you write about can be a specific group of people (i.e. members of your youth group at church, a club you're highly involved in) or a place, like your school or hometown. Start by thinking about a time when you noticed a problem within one of your communities and did something about it. It's that simple.

Students tend to stress about this question because they either 1) have read examples of successful responses to this PIQ that were insanely impressive or 2) think they need to have done something totally world-changing to write a suitable response to this question at all (or both). If that sounds like you, I encourage you to avoid seeing PIQ #7 as a competition for the Greatest Community Service Ever. It's seriously just an opportunity to share a positive impact you've had on other people. Stressing about your actions' perceived magnitude is not going to help you write a better essay.

I also find that students frequently read this question and think they have to respond by writing about formal volunteering experience. To be clear, your topic for this PIQ does NOT have to fall under that category.

One more important thing about topic choice: avoid taking a list approach. Just like I recommended in Guide to UC PIQ #1 : Leadership Experience, you shouldn't just write 350 words about all the times you've helped make your community a better place. PIQ responses are all about depth over breadth. Instead of trying to cover too much ground, instead, choose one specific experience to go into detail about.

Questions to Consider

Your response to PIQ #7 should answer these essential questions:

What problem or area for improvement in your community did you identify?

What inspired you to act?

How did you act?

What was the impact?

What did you learn from the experience?

How can you apply what you learned in the future?*

*#6 is optional. Describing how you can apply what you learned in your academic/professional future is certainly on-topic, but I wouldn't say it's strictly necessary.

I suggest you simply copy/paste the 6 questions above in a document and start answering all of them with some brief sentences and/or bullet points. Don't rush. Don't be anxious about getting wording or structure "perfect." Be thoughtful. Take time for reflection.

Once you've thoroughly answered the questions above, you will have formed a solid rough draft. Just keep coming back to your writing, adding more detail, cutting material that might have gone a little off-topic, organizing your writing into paragraphs, and polishing your spelling and grammar.

My other suggestion? Ask someone to read your writing. Give them the questions above and ask how thoroughly you answered each of them. Also consider showing them the thesis you came up with and asking them how well they think you stayed true to it throughout the essay. Friends and family can be excellent readers. You should also consider having a professional writing coach check out your work. Thinque Prep's college counseling and essay help services can help you out at any step in the essay-writing process, from brainstorming to your final draft.

Example PIQ #7 Response

Finally, let's check out a real example response to PIQ #7 .

As I scramble out of my father’s car, he reminds me, “Don’t forget to make someone smile today!” It is one of his favorite sayings, but this time I remember it clearly. I rush into the classroom during the Pledge of Allegiance, stroll through to my seat, trip over a chair, and go sprawling across the floor. As I get up, the class erupts in laughter. I think to myself, I guess I made 31 people smile today: overachieving as always.

Though this memory is just a silly example, it has come to represent one of my greatest strengths: propagating social change through humour and goodwill. Most importantly, a classroom full of grinning kids tells me that genuine and kind interactions with people are the foundation of all sustainable and ethical change.

As an intern on a campaign for the US House of Representatives, I certainly tested this theory. Every time I met constituents, I sought to make them smile, no matter how harsh or bitter the interaction seemed. In the beginning, I used to shy away when interactions turned unwelcoming; however, I learned that to initiate a positive change, I have to bear the uncomfortable situations and envision the issue at hand through the eyes of another.

This realization helped me find common ground with even the most caustic adversaries of the campaign. It seems that in today’s political climate, people see things in an “us versus them” mentality. So many have forgotten the progress that comes with connection, communication, and compromise.

Whether it be bringing together neighbors who have never spoken to each other, propagating a calm conversation with people who vehemently disagree with me, or meeting people with unique stories to tell, my work on the campaign has helped me build friendly connections across my community. It is within this community that I hope to nourish collaboration between like-minded friends as well as strong opponents. For if we wish to make true progress, we need, at the very least, to be able to share a smile.

Ready to get more in-depth with the next question? Check out Guide to UC Personal Insight Question #8: Free Response for more insight on how to make your UC application essays shine.

Nina Calabretta is a college English instructor, tutor, and writer native to Orange County, CA. When she’s not writing or helping students improve their skills as readers, writers, and critical thinkers, she can be found hiking the local trails with friends and family or curled up with a good book and her cat, Betsy. She has been part of the ThinquePrep team since 2018.

With offices located in beautiful Orange County, ThinquePrep specializes in the personalized mentorship of students and their families through the entire college preparation process and beyond. With many recent changes to college admissions - standardized tests, financial aid, varied admissions processes - the educational landscape has never been more competitive or confusing. We’re here from the first summer program to the last college acceptance letter. It’s never too early to start thinking about your student’s future, so schedule your complimentary consultation today!

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The Ultimate Guide to the UC Essay Prompt 7

The UC essay prompt 7 asks you to describe your contributions to your community or school. That’s why it’s also called the “community service” essay. Chances are, if you attend a high school that requires community service hours for graduation, you qualify for this prompt!

But, don’t let that fool you!

PIQ 7 goes through a lot more competition compared to other prompts like 2 and 5. We’ll discuss this more in the sections below. Oh, and if you’re looking for an example of a successful UC essay prompt 7 essay, check out our sister article here .

Table of Contents

UC PIQ 7 Suffers From the BFLPE Effect.

How fake projects and ecs ruined uc piq 7, you need to think laterally to be competitive.

• Explain the Problem.
• Explain the Significance of the Problem.
• Define HOW You Helped Your Community.
• Circle Back to What Your Topic Says About Your Character.
• Don’t Forget to Temper Your Achievement With Humility!

What Everyone Forgets About UC Essay Prompt 7

Before you start answering the UC PIQ 7 prompt, you need to consider your competition. Think about what kind of students you’ll be competing against in the admissions pool.

When it comes to prompt 7, you’ll be competing against the most competitive students. This is because compared to the other UC PIQs, prompt 7 attracts the most competitive and impressive students.

Now, why is this?

Well, it’s something called the Big-Fish-Little-Pond-effect. Let’s explore this more below.

The Big-Fish-Little-Pond-effect —also hideously abbreviated as the BFLPE effect for short— explains the distribution of gifted students in a given academic setting.

Specifically, gifted kids look good in regular classes. But, gifted kids in gifted classrooms just become average.

So, how does this impact competitiveness in the UC PIQ 7?

Well, what kind of students do you think would want to write about how they contributed or reshaped their community? That’s right! It’s the top 1% of the 1% of students! While practically everyone has endured hardship (UC essay prompt 5) and many have academic interests (UC essay prompt 6), not everyone has contributed to their community.

UC essay prompt 7 by its prompt alone invites competitive students, making you compete against more challenging students.

Those brave enough to venture into UC PIQ 7 are likely your hard hitters. These are your future astronauts and space surgeons. Your competitive R/A2C users. Your average Bay Area kids who started 3 non-profits to get into Harvard.

Speaking of competitive students flocking to UC PIQ 7, let’s talk about how said students have diluted the value of UC Essays

Let’s talk a bit about the distribution of students answering UC PIQ 7. By virtue of the prompt, you’re going to be competing against students who have some level of community service or project working with their local area.

It’s become more common now than ever before for students to lie about their achievements or extracurriculars. In fact, Intelligent ran a study that revealed about 34% of students fabricated stories in their essays .

Falsehoods like these inexorably increase the competitiveness of the application pool. For, admissions officers are further exposed to more outlandishly impressive topics that raise expectations. We’ve even seen this in some of the students we’ve worked with who were endorsed by teachers and admin to create false clubs with no value to boost numbers.

In other words, fake projects and ECs are causing an academic inflation. Specifically, it’s a devaluing of regular community service topics. This further raises expectations for students.

In order to stay competitive in the admissions pool, you need to find other ways to demonstrate contribution to your community.

Most competitive students will show they’re impressive by sharing how many homeless people they’ve helped. Or, they’ll talk about how much money they raised in their non-profit. If you want to stand out but you don’t have an enormously impressive topic, you can’t win the numbers game. Instead, you’ll need to find other ways to demonstrate value to your community.

Think about how you can provide value to the community. Don’t just think about money or clothes donated. Think laterally. Think about the metaphysical contributions such as the inclusion of minorities or the soft force you contribute to de-pathologizing your society.

Here’s an example. Let’s say you run a nerdy Anime Club. Your school has a large population of students who like anime; but, you live in an area where it’s looked down upon to appreciate “weird Asian stuff.” You’re inexorably providing a safe space for students who want to explore their creative pursuits free of prejudice from an overarching culture that dissuades different culture. This is a major contribution to the community because it taps into an unknown market desire that yearns to be fulfilled.

Is Anime Club a hyper-competitive or groundbreaking act of community service? Well, most people won’t say so. But, you can think laterally to find perspectives and angles that show it as such!

How to Answer UC Essay Prompt 7.

“What have you done to make your school or your community a better place? Things to consider: Think of community as a term that can encompass a group, team or a place — like your high school, hometown or home. You can define community as you see fit, just make sure you talk about your role in that community. Was there a problem that you wanted to fix in your community? Why were you inspired to act? What did you learn from your effort? How did your actions benefit others, the wider community or both? Did you work alone or with others to initiate change in your community?” University of California Website

Before we get to a list of advice on how to approach the UC essay prompt 7, we thought it would be useful for you to know this: Personal Insight Question Freshman Guide . This is an official guide by the University of California themselves, so be sure to give that a good read!

Alright, here’s how to write the UC essay prompt 7!

This is straightforward enough. Every contribution to the community starts with solving a problem. Start your UC essay prompt 7 essay discussing the problem you’re trying to solve.

Students who are planting trees in their community may say their area suffers from a lack of beauty and green that revivifies the region.

Students who are doing tutoring in computer science may notice that their region is best served by teaching applicable STEM skills to underrepresented community members.

Identify the problem that your contribution to the school or community is trying to solve. Then, write about it.

Hint: sometimes you can solve multiple problems at once. Take the planting trees example. You may be both healing the community air quality whilst beautifying the city simultaneously.

Next, talk about the significance of the problem. That is, why is the problem you’re trying to solve in your contribution to the community something people should care about?

Adding this to your UC essay prompt 7 essay is very strong because it adds weight to the work that you’re doing. It demonstrates to admissions officers that you’re not just contributing to the community in a surface level way. For, you’re actually focusing your efforts on something of importance at multiple layers of analysis.

Additionally, you can be creative with this.

Think about the many different angles your problem may be significant. Chances are, there are many perspectives you can take that illuminate the importance of your problem.

For instance, planting trees may be a important in beautifying the region. But, when you drill in deeper levels of analysis, you can argue that the beautification of your community is conducive of helping uplift your hometown’s base emotional state via aesthetic improvement. Additionally, you may be increasing the “tourism-friendliness” of your area; thus, your impact in the long term may bring new generations of residents into the region.

On the flip side, not planting trees may perpetuate the existing “dreariness” of the community; ultimately, this may set a precedent of negativity which has rippling effects on your hometown’s politics, social attitude, and even individual personal mood.

Think of creative angles to argue the significance of the problem you’re solving. That way, you’ll be comprehensive in your depth.

Okay, this is a hard one. But, most people writing the UC PIQ 7 essay don’t actually define how they’re helping the community. It’s absolutely crucial you show admissions officers HOW exactly you’re helping or contributing to your community or school.

That doesn’t mean ONLY talking about what you did in your activity. The activity can’t stand on it’s own. Write the logical connections between your action and how it helps the community.

By doing this, you’ll fully parse your answer to admissions officers.

While they can sometimes (…keyword sometimes) extrapolate how you’re helping the community, it’s crucial to spell out the HOW for them. After all, they’re reading your essays fast. So it’s good to be thorough!

This is an important rule for practically all UC essay prompts. And, UC PIQ 7 is no exception.

It’s crucial for admissions officers to be able to determine your characteristics and personality traits based on your writing. When they read from start to finish, they should be capable of determining whether you’re conscientious, kind, a team player, a deep thinker, etc.

Now, in this case, admissions officers can sometimes infer personality traits and characteristics based on your writing without overly direct statements. This is the one exception where you don’t need to directly feed admissions officers what you want them to think of you.

So, if you want to show your altruism, don’t just say, “this is why I’m altruistic.”

Instead, make sure admissions officers can infer based on your writing that you’re altruistic. Essentially, your readers should be able to extrapolate from your writing the characteristics you want to depict.

The last step to writing a solid UC essay prompt 7 is a subtle one, but nonetheless very important. You must temper your achievement and contribution to your community with humility.

Let’s face it: this prompt is going to be filled with a lot of competitive “try hard” students. And, many of them worked themselves to the bone for their accomplishments. Standing out in the sun protesting for civil liberties. Dedicating countless hours to tutoring students. Sacrificing weekend naps to help the homeless and disaffected.

Frankly, they deserve to brag. And, from what we’ve seen during our college admissions consulting sessions, most students are very braggy.

Bragging is not intrinsically a bad thing. But, it’s important to demonstrate maturity through humility. Show admissions officers that you’re not narcissistic. Temper your pride with humility.

Humility can come in the form of admitting you still have much to learn (hence the importance of learning at the University of California.) Or, it can come in the form of giving credit to fellow team members and showing pride in other fellow members. Remember: talking about others in an essay about you isn’t always a bad thing. It sometimes shows your readers you care and are aware of others’ success; and, as a leader, you graciously reward their work.

Ultimately, UC essay prompt 7 sounds like a straightforward prompt. But, due to the BFLPE effect, students answering this prompt inevitably place themselves in a more competitive admissions pool. This means answering UC PIQ 7 requires lateral thinking to truly stand out.

To answer the UC essay prompt 7 question, do these 5 things.

Are you still struggling to come up with what to write? Already finished with the UC essay prompt 7 but just need feedback? We’re here to help! When you schedule a free consultation with us, we’ll look at your essays and give some constructive criticism on how to improve them!

2 thoughts on “The Ultimate Guide to the UC Essay Prompt 7”

Hi! I’ve been told that PIQs are supposed to “get to the point” without all the fluf and extra stuff that comes along with a hook. Thoughts?

Hi Lark! That’s a good question.

The PIQs are brutally short. Most applicants struggle fitting any sort of color into their essays and intros because of the severe limitations. The problem with this is that it’s not unusual for students to write curtly in response. This can give the essay much less impact. What I would suggest is to “get to the point” just enough that the readers know what you’re going on about without knowing the full story.

Remember: the hook should be interesting and compelling enough to reel readers in. You’re right that you shouldn’t have any “fluff”, but don’t make it dull either!

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2023 Ultimate Guide: 20 UC Essay Examples

by Winning Ivy Prep Team | Mar 8, 2023 | UC Admissions , UC Personal Insight Essay Examples

Additional UC essay resources:

• Official UC Personal Insight Question prompts are here.
• Read our UC Essay / UC Personal Insight Essay Tips

Table of Contents

UC Personal Insight #1 Examples

Your chancing factors

Extracurriculars.

How to Write the “Make Community a Better Place” UC Essay

This article was written based on the information and opinions presented by Vinay Bhaskara in a CollegeVine livestream. You can watch the full livestream for more info. 

What’s Covered:

Defining “community”, demonstrating your values.

The University of California system requires you to answer four out of eight essay prompts . The seventh University of California prompt asks, “What have you done to make your school or your community a better place?” For a lot of people, a key to unlocking this essay is to think about defining “community” effectively.

Communities Come in All Sizes

Many people reading this prompt might think they should talk about something they did to make a positive impact in their town or their school. But your community does not need to be defined as something as large as your whole school or whole neighborhood. It can be as small as a club or a class, or even a friend group, all of which are communities to some extent.

Consider Virtual Communities

Don’t be afraid to even talk about a virtual community in answering this essay prompt. For so many of us these days, the communities we find and belong to are virtual, whether it’s a Reddit forum or Twitch chat, the comments section of a YouTuber you really like, a Discord server, or something along those lines. Not enough students write about virtual communities relative to how much time we all spend in them, so if you’ve done something to make a virtual environment a better place, that is absolutely valuable material for this essay prompt. 

Be sure to highlight your personal connection to the community you write about and your motivations for the actions you took to improve it.

Another important consideration in writing this essay is demonstrating your values and how you upheld them through your actions. You’ll also want to mention the positive impact your actions had, but be careful not to spend too much time in this area. Describing the positive impact you had is important, but you don’t want to take up too much of the word count with this. 

As an example, say you’re writing about social justice, perhaps a change you drove in your school to promote inclusivity. An essay that focuses too strongly on the impact of your actions isn’t going to be as powerful as an essay that mentions the impacts, but focuses more on your personal motivations. Instead of emphasizing how your actions improved your community, emphasize why you felt motivated to make those improvements. 

This is important because, with this essay, you’re not just answering the prompt. You’re also answering the underlying questions of how you define your community, how you relate to it, and how capable you are of having an impact on those around you. 

Colleges want to figure out whether an applicant will be a positive contributor to their community. This essay prompt is much more about your personal character than it is about the outcomes of your efforts. In answering this prompt, you’ll be demonstrating how you’ll fit in with and improve the community at your school of choice.

For more information on how to write responses for the other UC essays, consider reading  this article  on CollegeVine!

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