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Southern california college of optometry at marshall b. ketchum university, do’s and don’ts of writing a memorable & winning personal statement.

Maggie Francisco, OD, FAAO from SCCO’s Class of 2016

For all optometry school applicants who are in the process of writing their personal statements, this article will help. I highly endorse its wisdom.

After Maggie shares tips on how to write a memorable and winning essay, included at the end of this article is the very essay she submitted with her application. It is a perfect example of how to “show and not tell,” revealing through its narrative her unique personality, her professionalism, preparation, and passion for optometry.

Article and Personal Essay Written by Maggie Francisco, Optometry Student, SCCO, Class of 2016

According to Dr. Munroe, the goal of the personal statement is to show the admissions team mainly three things; 1) your personality, 2) your commitment to optometry, and 3) your passion and motivation that will help guide you through optometry school—the “fire in your belly.” Your GPA and OAT scores will speak for themselves, but the personal statement is your one opportunity to show them who you are and what sets you apart from the sea of applicants they are wading through each day. What makes you different? What makes you… you?

Welcome Back BBQ: pictured here with Dr. Jane Ann Munroe, left, along with Bridget Anderson, and Maggie Francisco, both from Class of 2016

Welcome Back BBQ, pictured here with Dr. Jane Ann Munroe (left), Bridget Anderson (center), and Maggie Francisco (right), both from Class of 2016

These are often tough questions to answer, especially when many of us in the application phase are at the age when we are just starting to figure that out for ourselves. That is why people typically come up with the same or similar, slightly monotonous story—they got glasses when they were little, their grandmother had glaucoma, they liked their optometrist, they had a lazy eye, etc.—and they discovered, “Hey, optometry is pretty cool…” Which leads me to my first “don’t” for writing a memorable and winning personal statement:

1. DON’T Be Generic

Yes, these stories are important to how you discovered optometry and why it is so important to you. So don’t leave them out completely! But don’t focus too much on it because everyone has glasses or a grandma with glaucoma or a cool optometrist or a lazy eye or something that inspired them to pursue optometry. Use this opportunity to write about your UNIQUE experiences and don’t feel like you have to linger on your back-story. Just mention your story briefly and move on to the good stuff—what have you done to learn about or invest yourself in the optometric profession? What are your goals? Your dreams? That is what they care to read and what makes your story unique.

2. DON’T Tell Them; Show Them

Telling your story seems like it should be the main goal of a personal statement, but you don’t just want to tell them a story—you have to show them! Paint them a picture, something they can relate to and that tells them more about you than do the words alone.

Personal Statement Example One:

“When I was a child, my pediatrician inspired me to become a doctor because she was smart, nice and always made me feel better. I vowed to be just like her.” (1)

Personal Statement Example Two:

“I remember the first time I went into my pediatrician’s office: pure fear. Like most kids, the doctors was the last person I wanted to see. The interesting thing is that over the years I started to like Dr. Green because she was not only smart but able to relate with me and explain things in a way I could understand. She made scary experiences much more tolerable. I later went on rounds with Dr. Green at the hospital and felt my desire to be a doctor increase. I saw how hard she worked and what was required to be a good physician. The exciting thing is that I found these high standards didn’t scare me; rather, they motivated me to excel in school and become a physician just like her.” (2)

Example one simply tells the reader who inspired them and why, but in an extremely generic, unemotional and lackluster fashion. Example two, however, shows passion and humanity, all while showing her understanding of what a good doctor does and what type of doctor she would like to be.

This is the goal! Show, don’t tell.

3. DON’T Accentuate Your Flaws

One question applicants always ask is, “should I explain why I got those C’s?” or volunteer some information of that sort. The simple answer is just this: don’t do it.

The personal statement is a venue to show the admissions team what would make you a great asset to an optometry program,

Maggie at the Class of 2016 White Coat Ceremony being congratulated by MBKU President, Dr. Kevin Alexander

so why would you waste a precious word on something that you did wrong? If there is really a valid explanation for a slump in your GPA or a strange gap in your academic transcript—there was a death, illness or injury in your family or something of a similar, serious nature—there are other ways to express this. Some schools will have a “If there is anything else you would like the admissions office to know…” section on the application, or in the case of SCCO, you can email [email protected] an official letter (pdf/doc) to go into your file that can disclose details that did not fit within the rest of the application. Feel free to explain yourself in this manner, but definitely don’t feel like you have to. The admissions officers understand that sometimes life happens or a class was particularly hard, so just stick to talking about why you rock!

4. DO Be Genuine

The worst thing you could do in a personal statement is to lie or misrepresent yourself. Admissions officers read hundreds of letters each season—they can pick up on insincerity from a mile away. So maybe you didn’t do as much community service or extracurriculars as the next guy. That’s fine! Accentuate the things you did do—your shadowing, your passion. Don’t try to fool anyone with outlandish, highly exaggerated stories.

5. DO Keep It Positive

This goes very nicely with rules 3 and 4, but begs to be said.

Perhaps you went through some hard times in your life and you think it this is important to discuss to explain how you came to be who you are now; that’s understandable and commendable. But don’t dwell on it for an entire essay. As said in rule 3, you should be using all the space you have to talk about how great you are, not waste it on describing a sad moment in your life. You can mention your situation and how it changed you, but droning on and complaining about it makes it feel more like a manipulation tactic. Talk about how you grew as a person, how it made you stronger, how it changed your outlook on things, all for the better. And if it has nothing to do with your pursuit of education or optometry, maybe think twice about mentioning it at all. Most importantly, don’t hide behind a sob story in hopes of gaining the admissions team’s pity. Pity will not get you an acceptance—determination and achievement will always win out.

6. DO Professionally and Unapologetically… Be Yourself!

I think I’ve been working toward this main point throughout this article. You have worked hard, you’ve done your research—show them who you are and what you’ve got! Show your personality, while promoting yourself as a professional, competent potential-doctor.

DO talk about the important things and what makes you, …you
DON’T dwell on the negative
DO be professional and passionate
DON’T be afraid to be yourself!

Welcome Back BBQ: Maggie with classmate, Lynn Huffman, right

Maggie’s Essay

I felt something splash my arm―through my car’s open window, a bird had decided to drop “a little surprise.” It was a horrifying and unexpected interruption while driving home, still reeling over my day at the local VA Medical Center. The last patient of the day had a congenital retinal macrovessel that everyone in the office gathered to see. I felt lucky to have seen something so rare on my final day of shadowing in the Ocular Disease Residency program.

My introduction to optometry was typical―In third grade, I received glasses to correct my -3.00 vision and, as you can imagine, my whole world changed. Optometry became a potential career when I took a survey in my sophomore year that matched my interests with professions. Science courses were my strength, especially the active lab portions, so it seemed obvious that a survey would recommend a health sciences field. But, at that time, my passion was musical theatre. I loved to sing, dance, direct and perform on stage. Optometry offered flexibility―I could pursue community theatre after hours and have time for a family. So, my college aspirations were to do both; music and biochemistry.

The reality of the biochemistry workload made me realize that I could not do both well, so I had to put performing on hold. During the summer after my freshman year, I interned at Family Care Optometry, a small partnership in the suburbs. I learned about practice management; how to manage appointments, order and fit contacts and glasses, and manage patient issues. I sat in on exams and performed preliminary auto-refractions and visual-fields. I enjoyed the camaraderie with the doctors and experienced a warm satisfaction when a patient left with better sight or a healthier outlook. This experience, although limited mainly to refractions, confirmed that I wanted to practice optometry. However, for my next shadowing experience, I knew I wanted exposure to a broader variety of cases.

A few months later, I shadowed at an ophthalmology-optometry office managed by a large medical group. Dr. Smith didn’t have to worry about practice management or glasses/contact lens sales. He preferred this, stating that he felt free to be strictly a health care provider, not a salesman. Due to his relationship with the ophthalmologists, he had more treatment privileges and his patients had a larger range of issues, which made the day much more interesting and varied. I noticed the general respect his patients had for him and vice versa; he knew them, they knew him. They teased and complimented him. It was a fun environment, yet serious when necessary. He had to explain to a diabetes patient that her high glucose levels at Christmas time had caused bleeding in the eye. Placing himself in her situation, he explained the issue delicately, helping her understand the seriousness of the risks without scolding or degrading her. I admired his candidness and hope to model my patient-interactions after him.

I attended information sessions at several schools, so by the time I got to the VA Hospital, I was a shadowing-pro. I felt more prepared to ask questions, and was excited to be in a teaching environment with students in the residency program and on 4 th -year rotations. I asked about the instruments and how they worked. I wanted to get involved―to work the slit lamp and phoropter―constantly reminding myself, “Don’t touch” or “Don’t answer that patient’s question, it’s not your job yet.” Looking through the slit lamp’s microscope was fascinating; examining cataracts, implants, macular degeneration, and more. I discussed with the head doctors the benefits of doing a residency and the future of our scope of practice in California. I began referring to optometrists as a “we”, not a “they”. During my last day at the VA hospital, I dreaded my departure and longed to stay just a few more days. I couldn’t get enough.

No matter the type of practice I choose, my shadowing experiences have showed that what I love about optometry is working with patients. I always thought that I would enjoy the business side of private practice, but now I think I’d be happy just showing up every day to a lobby of patients, waiting for my undivided attention. I’m not ruling out private practice, but I want more days like the one at the VA. Since I couldn’t focus the equipment, I only saw pictures of that last patient’s macrovessel. I just hope the day I finally get to see one up close―the birds keep their excitement to themselves. (Published with Maggie’s permission. Names and places have been changed to protect identity).

(1) Fleenor, Jeremiah. The Medical School Interview: Secrets and a System for Success . Denver, CO: Shift 4 Pub., 2011, 15.

(2) Fleenor, Jeremiah. The Medical School Interview: Secrets and a System for Success . Denver, CO: Shift 4 Pub., 2011, 15.

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Categories: Personal Statement

Tagged as: Fleenor , getting into optometry school , healthcare professional school personal statement , jane ann munroe , Jane Ann Munroe optometry , Marshall B. Ketchum University , optometry , optometry admissions , optometry school admissions , person statement , professional school personal statement , scco.

Published by Jane Ann Munroe, OD, Assistant Dean of Admissions, SCCO

Retired Assistant Dean of Admissions, SCCO View all posts by Jane Ann Munroe, OD, Assistant Dean of Admissions, SCCO

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Optometry Personal Statement

Use this Optometry personal statement example as an inspiration to write your own for the UK university application, if you are applying to study Optometry course.

Finding a profession that both fulfils one’s intellectual interests and provides a sense of purpose is the key to a rewarding career. It would be necessary for me to pursue a career with a solid scientific aspect to work, since I have always been fascinated by the fields of biology and chemistry, with the objective of helping people every day. As a result of my involvement in various work placements within the health sector, I have come to realize that optometry is a profession that allows me to combine both. I have been captivated by human anatomy because of my studies in sciences at school. Studying biology has allowed me to gain a great deal of insight into how the human body develops diseases and how it attempts to fight them – sometimes unsuccessfully. Studying Level Chemistry has reinforced my understanding of biochemistry, which has been of particular interest to me. In school, I have thoroughly enjoyed studying biology and chemistry, and I look forward to applying what I have learned in these subjects to gain a detailed understanding of ocular science.

An extended work placement at a local optician helped me gain a deeper understanding of optometry both as a field of study and a profession. I shadowed different opticians as they performed eye tests and contact lens fittings during the placement. The importance of good communication skills in optometry has become apparent to me. Customers and patients would have a much more difficult time navigating what can often be complex procedures without them. In cases where patients are suffering from vision problems or are distressed by the prospect of undergoing tests, opticians should also act with empathy and patience. In the laboratory, I also had the opportunity to observe – and sometimes participate in – the lens and frame preparation processes during my placement. As a result of this experience, I have a much better understanding of the different types of lenses that are used in glasses, as well as the technical skills involved in making them. Since I found the work placement so rewarding, I have continued to volunteer every Saturday at the same optician.

I have also carried out a work placement at a local pharmacy. This experience encouraged me to develop some of the personal skills that I believe are necessary for working as an optician. During the placement, I had the opportunity to interact with customers. Through this, I learnt how much I enjoy work in which I can offer advice to people, and also felt a gratifying sense of responsibility in response to the fact that the advice I gave them regarding non-prescription medication could play a role in alleviating the symptoms of their health problems.

In my spare time, I have participated in a range of activities that also allow me to be involved in helping people. In Year 12 I mentored a group of Year 7 students; I enjoyed being able to make them feel less apprehensive about starting life in secondary school. I have been involved with several fund-raising initiatives for Afrikids and Cancer Research, such as selling cakes and doing a sponsored walk. These activities gave me a sense of satisfaction by allowing me to work as part of a team with a common goal. My sense of teamwork has also been improved by my involvement in my school’s hockey and netball teams. On a more personal note, I am a highly enthusiastic musician; I play the guitar, and also particularly enjoy traditional Indian music. I have found learning to play an instrument to be both an outlet for self-expression and a way of developing my skills of perseverance. I am also an avid reader of fiction, in particular stories that ignite my sense of adventure, such as Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland.

How to Write – A Killer Personal Statement Optometry Example

The Personal Statement Optometry Edition

The personal statement for Optometry plays a significant role in the application process for many universities. They provide the admissions team with information on your academia, work experience, and personality, to help them determine whether you’re a good fit for their program.

Personal Statement Format - Optometry

A structured and well-written personal statement will highlight your strengths and demonstrate your transferable skillset. You should include your educational background, work history, volunteering, extracurriculars, hobbies, and aspirations (whether you want to stay in primary care, work in a hospital, or create your own business). If you’ve taken courses related to optometry, be sure to mention those too.

If you’re not too sure what to write about, ask yourself these questions:

What do I hope to accomplish by applying to optometry?

How have my experiences prepared me for university?

Why should they choose me?

This guide has you covered with keywords, bonus tips, and a successful personal statement optometry example.

If you’re applying through UCAS, then you’re limited to 4000 characters (including spaces) and up to 47 lines. Check your length by pasting your draft here , you may need to remove the spaces between paragraphs- this is normal and you will not be penalised for that.

Step 1 – Scope of Practice
Step 2 – Keywords
Step 3 – Mentor/Editing Service
Killer Personal Statement Optometry Example
Overview of the statement

Step 1: Understand an Optometrist's Scope of Practice

An optometrist’s Scope of Practice simply means what their roles are, what they’re allowed to do, and day-to-day roles.

Roles – Research the difference between roles of dispensing opticians, optometrists, ophthalmologists, and

– this will show off your background research and understanding.

If you have shadowed an optometrist, mention their roles in educating, advocating, and treating patients. This isn’t somewhere to list roles but suggests how you hope to make a difference through these roles.

Standards of Practice – Look into the General Optical Council Standards – These are 19 standards each optical professional must abide by. Integrate some of these in your personal statement optometry.

e.g., Standard 5: Keep your knowledge and skills up to date – Show your ability to research outside of your currciculum, mention an article, or research that you read. Show that you’re aware that learning extends beyond university!

Step 2: Keywords

Collaboration- an ability to work closely with others
Educator- willingness to teach others, educate patients on their vision health
Advocate- care and support those with visual conditions, impairments & vulnerable patients
Leader- handle the business side of optometry, manage a clinic, and mentor juniors
Empathy- work with a diverse community, care for the young, elderly, those with disabilities etc…
Communication- an ability to speak coherently, clearly, jargon-free, and alter your tone

Purchase the full guide with 3 successful examples, keywords, insider knowledge, top tips, full structure breakdown, and more...

Step 3: mentor/editing service.

Find a Mentor

Most applicants resort to their career adviser for help with their optometry personal statement. Make sure your career adviser has a track record of successful students who have previously applied and helped with a personal statement optometry application.

Optometry is a unique field, focusing on the eyes and a part of healthcare. It’s competitive, meaning you want to use each paragraph to add value rather than repeating what’s already on your UCAS application.

The universities will have your academic records, predicted grades, and final results- so they know you’re hard working and can handle the workload. They want to know how you are as a person, your work experience, knowledge beyond the A Level curriculum, and evidence of your caring nature.

Professional Mentor – a personal statement editor or advisor is someone who helps applicants for a living. They should have had experience with optometry and the application process. My services include editing, rewriting, content addition or budget services which include proofreading, review, and grammar corrections .

Optometrist – if you’ve shadowed an optometrist you might be able to ask them to read through your personal statement for optometry. They can highlight any technical errors or fact-check to make sure the content is correct

Personal Statement Optometry Example

“As an avid photographer, I grew passionate about learning the different camera lenses, apertures, and their impact on focus. This intertwined with my anatomical interests, which stemmed from biology, where I dissected an eye. Visualising the ciliary muscles and learning their function alongside the zonular fibres helped me to understand their function on the lens. A simple contraction causes tension enabling us to focus on near objects. This significant but small muscle carries out an essential function, if impaired, our vision would be hugely affected. Researching this inspired me to understand ocular anatomy and age-related conditions. My research and the dissection tutorial sparked my fascination for vision health. As a teenager, I was always drawn to healthcare, but I was now drawn to this fascinating sector of healthcare. Following my research on age-related conditions, I came across cataracts which are prevalent within the geriatric population. I oversaw the impact cataracts had on elderly patients while volunteering weekly at a residential home. Many residents lacked independence due to their visual impairments and mobility issues. I recognised that many required visual aids, glasses, or regular medication and appointments. To understand the impact this had on their quality of life, I spoke to many who were happy to share their stories. I empathised with their struggles and understood how vision is essential. I also learned how residents coped with their deteriorating vision by improving their room lighting, colour-coded medication, and asking for help. I was able to help with tasks like clipping nails, meal times, and cleaning. I found the team to be very helpful, and we worked closely to make sure everyone was cared for. This work was undoubtedly rewarding, but it made me wonder how those in developing countries or of a lower income are able to access or afford such care. This made me grateful for the cataract surgeries and extensive care the NHS provides for all ages. I hope to use this experience to understand my future patients and educate them on coping methods while they await surgery. I found myself using a more gentle and slower speech when communicating with elderly patients; some suffered from hearing issues and additionally required me to write things down or speak facing them while accentuating my words. I now bear this in mind and am more patient and empathetic toward others. To understand what optometry entails, I shadowed my optometrist for two weeks. I oversaw consultations, eye health checks, diabetic checks, and the use of OCT scans. Being eager to learn, I curiously asked the optometrist to explain the purpose behind each check. I’m grateful that she was kind enough to explain the procedures and the various conditions that can arise. We spoke about retinal detachment, symptoms, and the risk of sudden vision loss. I recognised how crucial it is to care for those in the chair, whether it be elderly patients or those with limited English. Each required a thorough check and an explanation that they could understand. In order to gain a comprehensive experience, I learned about the administrative side of optometry, what is involved in running a clinic, and ensuring referrals are followed up. I had a chance to respond to phone calls and book appointments. This improved my communication skills and ability to empathise with those who were distressed by their symptoms, I could relate as I had recently suffered from allergies, which caused a great deal of irritation and itchiness. Overall, I believe my shadowing, rooted interests in anatomy, and willingness to work in a patient-centred profession have drawn me to optometry. I, therefore, wish to learn, develop, and treat those who are in my care by providing a quality service that will continue beyond university.”

Remember- Scope of Practice, use keywords, and get help with your Personal Statement Optometry

Sentence structure, flow, spelling, and grammar are equally important. Without flow and good transitional sentences, it becomes difficult to read, losing the admission tutor’s interest.

Therefore, I strongly advise getting professional help with the draft once it is written. Invest in your future now to maximise your chances of getting into your dream 0ptometry course.

Get help from an experienced writer Volunteering in your local area Top 3 Dental Personal Statements