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THE GOOD LIFE

Lessons from the world's longest scientific study of happiness.

by Robert Waldinger & Marc Schulz ‧ RELEASE DATE: Jan. 10, 2023

An engrossing look at why relationships matter, featuring an unprecedented abundance of data to back it up.

A comprehensive examination of what makes a “good life,” based on a study that “has followed the lives of two generations of individuals from the same families for more than eighty years.”

Waldinger and Schulz, the current director and associate director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development, which began in 1938, use the data from this massive research project to make a convincing argument about what constitutes a good life. Early in the book, they give their conclusion: “Good relationships keep us healthier and happier. Period.” The authors present consistently fascinating insights about the lives of many of the study’s participants, as well as those in related studies, showing what aspects of life are most beneficial, regardless of age, gender, class, wealth, or status. Encompassing the experiences of more than 1,300 descendants from the original 724 participants, the project is “the longest in‑depth longitudinal study of human life ever done”—and it is ongoing. The resulting book, write Waldinger and Schulz, “is deeply informed, appropriately, by the long and fruitful friendship of its authors.” Most readers fully understand the chaos of modern-day life, “a haze of competing social, political, and cultural priorities, some of which have very little to do with improving people’s lives.” The Harvard Study, on the other hand, has always remained devoted to illuminating the “lived experiences” of the participants, showing the value of a wide variety of relationships, whether focused on family, friends, romantic partners, or work colleagues. Throughout, the authors maintain a conversational tone and include many of the questions and exercises used in the study to allow readers to examine their own relationships and to develop them further. The book is perfect for readers of Arthur Brooks, Daniel Pink, Angela Duckworth, and other writers who delve into how to fashion prosperous, fulfilling lives.

Pub Date: Jan. 10, 2023

ISBN: 978-1-982166-69-4

Page Count: 352

Publisher: Simon & Schuster

Review Posted Online: Nov. 1, 2022

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Dec. 1, 2022

BODY, MIND & SPIRIT | FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS | HEALTH & FITNESS | PSYCHOLOGY | SELF-HELP

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Awards & Accolades

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New York Times Bestseller

IndieBound Bestseller

I'M GLAD MY MOM DIED

by Jennette McCurdy ‧ RELEASE DATE: Aug. 9, 2022

The heartbreaking story of an emotionally battered child delivered with captivating candor and grace.

The former iCarly star reflects on her difficult childhood.

In her debut memoir, titled after her 2020 one-woman show, singer and actor McCurdy (b. 1992) reveals the raw details of what she describes as years of emotional abuse at the hands of her demanding, emotionally unstable stage mom, Debra. Born in Los Angeles, the author, along with three older brothers, grew up in a home controlled by her mother. When McCurdy was 3, her mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. Though she initially survived, the disease’s recurrence would ultimately take her life when the author was 21. McCurdy candidly reconstructs those in-between years, showing how “my mom emotionally, mentally, and physically abused me in ways that will forever impact me.” Insistent on molding her only daughter into “Mommy’s little actress,” Debra shuffled her to auditions beginning at age 6. As she matured and starting booking acting gigs, McCurdy remained “desperate to impress Mom,” while Debra became increasingly obsessive about her daughter’s physical appearance. She tinted her daughter’s eyelashes, whitened her teeth, enforced a tightly monitored regimen of “calorie restriction,” and performed regular genital exams on her as a teenager. Eventually, the author grew understandably resentful and tried to distance herself from her mother. As a young celebrity, however, McCurdy became vulnerable to eating disorders, alcohol addiction, self-loathing, and unstable relationships. Throughout the book, she honestly portrays Debra’s cruel perfectionist personality and abusive behavior patterns, showing a woman who could get enraged by everything from crooked eyeliner to spilled milk. At the same time, McCurdy exhibits compassion for her deeply flawed mother. Late in the book, she shares a crushing secret her father revealed to her as an adult. While McCurdy didn’t emerge from her childhood unscathed, she’s managed to spin her harrowing experience into a sold-out stage act and achieve a form of catharsis that puts her mind, body, and acting career at peace.

Pub Date: Aug. 9, 2022

ISBN: 978-1-982185-82-4

Page Count: 320

Review Posted Online: May 30, 2022

Kirkus Reviews Issue: July 1, 2022

ENTERTAINMENT, SPORTS & CELEBRITY | BIOGRAPHY & MEMOIR | FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS | GENERAL BIOGRAPHY & MEMOIR

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SEEN & HEARD

CALL ME ANNE

by Anne Heche ‧ RELEASE DATE: Jan. 24, 2023

A sweet final word from an actor who leaves a legacy of compassion and kindness.

The late actor offers a gentle guide for living with more purpose, love, and joy.

Mixing poetry, prescriptive challenges, and elements of memoir, Heche (1969-2022) delivers a narrative that is more encouraging workbook than life story. The author wants to share what she has discovered over the course of a life filled with abuse, advocacy, and uncanny turning points. Her greatest discovery? Love. “Open yourself up to love and transform kindness from a feeling you extend to those around you to actions that you perform for them,” she writes. “Only by caring can we open ourselves up to the universe, and only by opening up to the universe can we fully experience all the wonders that it holds, the greatest of which is love.” Throughout the occasionally overwrought text, Heche is heavy on the concept of care. She wants us to experience joy as she does, and she provides a road map for how to get there. Instead of slinking away from Hollywood and the ridicule that she endured there, Heche found the good and hung on, with Alec Baldwin and Harrison Ford starring as particularly shining knights in her story. Some readers may dismiss this material as vapid Hollywood stuff, but Heche’s perspective is an empathetic blend of Buddhism (minimize suffering), dialectical behavioral therapy (tolerating distress), Christianity (do unto others), and pre-Socratic philosophy (sufficient reason). “You’re not out to change the whole world, but to increase the levels of love and kindness in the world, drop by drop,” she writes. “Over time, these actions wear away the coldness, hate, and indifference around us as surely as water slowly wearing away stone.” Readers grieving her loss will take solace knowing that she lived her love-filled life on her own terms. Heche’s business and podcast partner, Heather Duffy, writes the epilogue, closing the book on a life well lived.

Pub Date: Jan. 24, 2023

ISBN: 9781627783316

Page Count: 176

Publisher: Viva Editions

Review Posted Online: Feb. 6, 2023

Kirkus Reviews Issue: March 1, 2023

BODY, MIND & SPIRIT | BIOGRAPHY & MEMOIR | ENTERTAINMENT, SPORTS & CELEBRITY | GENERAL BIOGRAPHY & MEMOIR | SELF-HELP

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The Good Life: A Discussion with Dr. Robert Waldinger

Dr. Waldinger began by exploring what people think makes a good life. Many across the world, especially millennials, believe that the answer can be found with fame and fortune. In a recent survey of millennials, when asked what they wanted in their adult life, over 80% said they wanted to get rich, 50% said they wanted to get famous, and 50% said they wanted high career achievements.

However, studies show that as many western countries, including the US, have become wealthier, general happiness levels have decreased . $75,000 a year average household income is the level at which happiness seems to peak— the level at which the basic economic needs of food, housing, healthcare, child support, etc. can be met. When people’s annual income became higher than that sum, their happiness levels didn’t go up much. The difference between $75,000 and $75 million was hardly significant.

Dr. Waldinger believes that the reason many hold this false belief in the power of money to improve happiness is because the good life is defined for us, not by us . This is a result of the digital revolution, social media, unrealistic standards, and omnipresent advertising. Ads tell us that consumption ought to make us happy, that we ought to look and act a certain way. We judge our everyday lives against the curated lives of others, and young people, who are more deeply entrenched in digital media than any generation before them, are particularly vulnerable to this constant self-comparison. “As a mentor of mine once said,” stated Dr. Waldinger, “‘ we are always comparing our insides to other people’s outsides. ’”

The Harvard Study of Adult Development

So what do we really need for a good life? As Director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development, Dr. Waldinger was ideally placed to search for an answer. This 85-year study started in 1938 as two studies. One followed a group of 19-year-old Harvard students, while the other followed a younger group of juvenile delinquents. Both groups were exclusively white, male, and based out of Boston. The two studies were combined to make up a group of 725 men. As time passed, their wives were brought into the study, and then their children. The group even included John F Kennedy. Participants’ physical, mental, and emotional health were studied. They were photographed, audiotaped, and videotaped. Their blood was drawn, their brains were scanned, and their DNA was studied.

The study found that the people who stayed healthiest and lived longest were the people who had the strongest connections to others . The warmth of these connections had a direct positive impact on their health and well-being. Good relationships meant participants were less likely to develop heart disease, diabetes, or arthritis. Broader social networks and more social activity resulted in later onset and slower rates of cognitive decline. The study even found that married people lived longer—an average of 5-12 years longer for women, and 7-17 years longer for men .

Interestingly, the study also found that participants became happier as they aged . From middle age onward, participants paid more attention to positive information than negative information, remembered the past more positively, became more selective about how they spent their time, and increasingly savored the present moment. Dr. Waldinger’s explanation for this trend was that “When we sense that time is limited, emotional well-being becomes a priority.” There is a downside to this, however—older brains are more responsive to positive information, and tend to disregard negative information, making them more susceptible to scams.

When the first round of participants were in their 80s, the interviewers asked them what they wished they had done differently, and what they were most proud of. The men replied that they wished they hadn’t spent as much time at work, but with the people they cared about. The women replied that they wished they hadn’t worried about what people thought of them. For both genders, their proudest achievements all had to do with relationships. Participants were proud of being a good parent, partner, friend, or mentor.

These findings affected Dr. Waldinger personally. He realized that he had to listen to his own research, and so instead of working 24/7, he began to intentionally reach out to his friends, telling him that he was thinking of them, inviting them to go out for a walk or get dinner. While he was proud of his work, he realized that his greatest source of satisfaction wasn’t the academic awards he had received, but instead maintaining vibrant connections with others.

Expounding on this, Dr. Waldinger added that when it came to work and relationships, he understood that it couldn’t be either or. He explained that people need enough money to be financially secure, to support themselves and their families. But the people who sacrifice everything for work end up feeling like they’ve given up too much in their lives. It may be tempting to focus on money or achievements because they’re measurable, and we tend to prioritize what we can measure. Relationships change all the time, and cannot be measured in the same way; but this does not make them any less important.

In terms of spending money to achieve happiness, Dr. Waldinger recommended paying for experiences, rather than material things. “ The best things in life aren’t things ,” he explained. “Material things lend themselves to comparisons. But experiences either strengthen pre-existing relationships with people, or help us meet new people.”

The Loneliness Pandemic

Developing and strengthening relationships with others is a skill that has decreased in the general US population since the 1950s, with the introduction of the television. Over the last 25 years, people have become half as likely to join clubs and civic organizations, while family dinners and vacations are down by a third. In 1983, 12% of Americans lacked a confidant, someone they could speak to about personal matters, while in 2003, 25% lacked a confidant. In a global poll of 15 million workers, only a third said they had a best friend at work, and of those, only 1 in 12 said they were engaged in their job. Half of CEOs report feeling lonely. Dr. Waldinger and many others believe that this loneliness pandemic was accelerated by the digital revolution. “We’re all on our phones, on our screens, so much of the time that we neglect each other, and we neglect the world around us.”

Studies have found that loneliness is as powerful a predictor of poor health as smoking half a pack of cigarettes a day, having high blood pressure, or being obese. Loneliness results in earlier cognitive and physical decline, stress-induced hypertension, impaired sleep, heightened cardiovascular reactivity, decreased immune function, and chronic inflammation.

How We Can Fix It

Dr. Waldinger began with a quote from one of his Zen teachers, John Tarrant, stating “ Attention is the most basic form of love. ” He went on to explain that “our undivided attention is the most valuable thing we have to give each other. It is also the most difficult thing, these days, to give each other, because screens are so programmed to take us away from each other. The path of least resistance seems to be driving us towards increasing social isolation, so we need to be intentional in structuring our lives both at home and at work to counter this trend. ”

Of course, there are other factors to consider, such as where an individual is on the scale of introversion to extroversion. Introverts may only need a few relationships, and become stressed out by too many, while extroverts need a wider circle. “Our culture tends to glorify extroverts, which is silly,” said Dr. Waldinger. “Other cultures glorify a more contemplative approach to life.” The answer to finding a good life isn’t one size fits all.

Then there is an individual’s baseline level mood to consider. People can have the exact same circumstances, and some can happier and others sadder. Dr. Waldinger explained that about 50% of happiness comes from genetically based, temperamental factors, about 10% comes from life circumstances, and about 40% can be changed.

As the webinar came to an end, Dr. Viswanath read a final comment from an attendee. “It seems that we are discovering things that women have always understood, valuing relationships and loving our people.” Dr. Waldinger responded that there had been people who responded to his TED talks with “duh”. He explained that women are typically socialized to care more about relationships. “I am not revealing something to this world that’s a shocker,” he concluded. “We just now have good scientific data to back up what our grandmothers always knew and were telling us all along.”

If you missed the seminar, you can watch a recording here . 

Written by Ayla Fudala, Communications Coordinator

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The Good Life: Lessons from the World's Longest Scientific Study of Happiness Hardcover – January 10, 2023

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• Print length 352 pages
• Language English
• Publisher Simon & Schuster
• Publication date January 10, 2023
• Dimensions 6 x 1.3 x 9 inches
• ISBN-10 198216669X
• ISBN-13 978-1982166694
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• Publisher ‏ : ‎ Simon & Schuster (January 10, 2023)
• Language ‏ : ‎ English
• Hardcover ‏ : ‎ 352 pages
• ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 198216669X
• ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1982166694
• Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 1.1 pounds
• Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 6 x 1.3 x 9 inches
• #7 in Friendship (Books)
• #32 in Longevity
• #164 in Happiness Self-Help

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About the authors

Marc schulz ph.d.

Marc Schulz, PhD, is the Associate Director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development and an award-winning professor at Bryn Mawr College, where he directs the Data Science Program and is the Sue Kardas PhD 1971 Chair in Psychology. He completed his BA at Amherst College and his Ph.D. at the University of California at Berkeley.

Robert J. Waldinger

Dr. Robert Waldinger is a professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development at Massachusetts General Hospital, and cofounder of the Lifespan Research Foundation. Dr. Waldinger received his AB from Harvard College and his MD from Harvard Medical School. He is a practicing psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, and he directs a psychotherapy teaching program for Harvard psychiatry residents. He is also a Zen master (Roshi) and teaches meditation in New England and around the world.

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Customers find the book entertaining, well-written, and well worth their time. They appreciate the wonderful insights and advice on how relationships are a critical component. Readers also say the book is full of real-life lessons and informative.

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Customers find the book entertaining, well-written, and warm. They say it's engaging and thought-provoking. Readers also mention the book shows the value of a life well-lived, especially in terms of relationships.

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Customers find the book wonderful, life-changing, and full of real-life lessons. They say it's informative, helpful, and an amazing journey through decades of research. Readers also mention the stories in the book touch their hearts.

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"...This book provides a really good study and insights into finding happiness in this world, what gives people true happiness in this world, and where..." Read more

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The Good Life

Lessons from the world's longest scientific study of happiness.

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About The Book

About the authors.

Dr. Robert Waldinger is a professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development at Massachusetts General Hospital, and cofounder of the Lifespan Research Foundation. Dr. Waldinger received his AB from Harvard College and his MD from Harvard Medical School. He is a practicing psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, and he directs a psychotherapy teaching program for Harvard psychiatry residents. He is also a Zen master (Roshi) and teaches meditation in New England and around the world.

Marc Schulz is the associate director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development and the Sue Kardas PhD 1971 Chair in Psychology at Bryn Mawr College. He also directs the Data Science Program and previously chaired the psychology department and Clinical Developmental Psychology PhD program at Bryn Mawr. Dr. Schulz received his BA from Amherst College and his PhD in clinical psychology from the University of California at Berkeley. He is a practicing therapist with postdoctoral training in health and clinical psychology at Harvard Medical School.

Product Details

• Publisher: Simon & Schuster (January 10, 2023)
• Length: 352 pages
• ISBN13: 9781982166694

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• Family & Relationships > Friendship
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Raves and Reviews

"Perfect for readers of Arthur Brooks, Daniel Pink, Angela Duckworth, and other writers who delve into how to fashion prosperous, fulfilling lives. An engrossing look at why relationships matter, featuring an unprecedented abundance of data to back it up."

– Kirkus Reviews (starred review)

“Robert Waldinger and Marc Schulz lead us on an empowering quest towards our greatest need: meaningful human connection. Blending research from an ongoing 80-year study of life satisfaction with emotional storytelling proves that ancient wisdom has been right all along – a good life is built with good relationships.”

– Jay Shetty, bestselling author of  Think Like a Monk  and host of the podcast  On Purpose

“In a crowded field of life advice and even life advice based on scientific research, Schulz and Waldinger stand apart. Capitalizing on the most intensive study of adult development in history, they tell us what makes a good life and why.”

– Angela Duckworth, author of Grit, Christopher H. Browne Distinguished Professor of Psychology, University of Pennsylvania, co-founder and CEO of Character Lab

“Fascinating. . . . Combining intensive research with actionable steps, this penetrating testament to the power of human connection offers gems for almost anyone looking to improve their happiness.”

– Publishers Weekly

"Want the secret to the good life? Robert Waldinger and Marc Schulz give it to you in this magnificent new book. Based on the longest survey ever conducted over people’s lives, The Good Life reveals who winds up happy, who doesn’t, and why—and how you can use this information starting today."

– Arthur C. Brooks, Professor, Harvard Kennedy School and Harvard Business School, and #1  New York Times  bestselling author

“Waldinger and Schulz are world experts on the counterintuitive things that make life meaningful. Their book will provide welcome advice for a world facing unprecedented levels of unhappiness and loneliness.”

– Laurie Santos, PhD, Chandrika and Ranjan Tandon Professor of Psychology at Yale University and host of the podcast The Happiness Lab  podcast

“ The Good Life tells the story of a rare and fascinating study of lives over time. This insightful, interesting, and well-informed book reveals the secret of happiness—and reminds us that it was never really a secret, after all.”

– Daniel Gilbert, author of the  New York Times  best-seller  Stumbling on Happiness;  and host of the PBS television series  This Emotional Life

“Waldinger and Schulz have written an essential — perhaps the essential — book on human flourishing. Backed by extraordinary research and packed with actionable advice, The Good Life will expand your brain and enrich your heart.”

– Daniel H. Pink, #1  New York Times  bestselling author of  The Power of Regret, Drive,  and  A Whole New Mind

“ I'm beyond thrilled that Dr. Waldinger and Dr. Schulz are publishing the findings of the Harvard Study. Over the years, I've discussed their research and recommended Dr. Waldinger's TED talk around the world. I can hardly wait to recommend The Good Life . It's accessible, interesting, and grounded in research—and is bound to make a difference in the lives of millions."

– Tal Ben-Shahar, bestselling author of Being Happy: You Don't Have to Be Perfect to Lead a Richer, Happier Life, and Happier: Learn the Secrets to Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfillment

"This book is simply extraordinary. It weaves ‘hard data’ and enlightening case studies and interviews together seamlessly in a way that stays true to the science while humanizing it. And what an important lesson it teaches. It helps people to understand how they should live their lives, and also provides a spectacular picture of what psychology can be at its best. It is data driven, of course, but data are just noise without wise interpretation.”

– Barry Schwartz, author of  Practical Wisdom  (with Kenneth Sharpe) and  Why We Work

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